Monday, January 28, 2013

Struggling....

Have you ever been so excited about something and no one else cares? That’s how I feel. When we adopted Emma everything was such a big deal. Now we’re adopting Braxdon and.... no one cares. Honestly, I told Brad the other day, “Call the temple and get their next available sealing time! I’m not inviting anyone. I just want to get sealed and be done.” For the record, he won't let me and we are sticking to our sealing date. I know things aren’t the same once you’ve already had one kid, but I didn’t realize that it was be day and night different. In fact, I had one family member tell me “Call me after court (to finalize) because you never know what might happen.” Okay, there is a 0% chance anything BUT we finalize my son’s adoption will happen.

                                                                      Emma vs. Braxdon
Baby showers-                                               2                    0
Parents came to visit after we getting them: yes                 no
Family at court for finalization                     yes                 no
Present for no reason (like Christmas)         yes                 no
Presents or even acknowledged on 1st birthday yes          no
I could go on, but it’s just more, Emma got love and attention and no one cares Braxdon exists!

Today I was getting everyone’s clothes out for court. I told my husband, “With Emma’s adoption I didn’t have to pick out clothes because my mom got her a dress for court, her sealing dress, and a dress for going to and from the temple. Braxdon got.... yeah, nothing.” I bought his sealing outfit, Emma’s dress, and both their outfits for pictures at the temple.

It was nice to be able to vent these feelings to someone at church today and have them tell me, “Well, I’m excited for you guys!”

It doesn’t help that at the same time I don’t feel supported with my business either. When we tell people that we are opening a store (like, I am shooting for April 5th!) the response is, “Oh, Do you think that’s a good idea? Can you actually do it?” Honestly, would I be opening a store if I didn’t think I could support it??? I told my mother-in-law the other day, come spend a day with me and you’ll get how busy I am! My customers on the other hand, are SO excited for our store to open! They keep asking me when it will open!

For the record.... I am SO excited to finally be adopting my SON! During church all I wanted to do was squeeze him! He was too active to have any part of that!

3 comments:

*Alice Anne* said...

That must be one if those things they never tell you about adding kids to your family, because I've heard that a lot. I'm excited for you! :) Throw your own dang baby shower/ welcome-to-the-family party!! Lol.

Julianna said...

I'm so sorry you're getting this kind of reaction. I imagine it is very similar when fertile families add to their family. The first is a huge ordeal to the rest of the world but the 4th is just another one to them. It isn't the same to them as it is to mom and dad, brothers and sisters. But remember. It doesn't matter what the rest of the world does or doesn't do. Be excited for you! This is huge and wonderful and your readers and so excited for you! I know I am. (And you don't even know me!) Congratulations and keep your head up! I love the idea of throwing a "welcome to the family party" even if you don't invite anyone!

julester said...

weather adoption or biological ita the same thing. my kids where 10 years appart and wow the second child got nothing in comparison to the first but everyone i know says Thats just how it is.