Sunday, September 25, 2011

How do you not get your hopes up in a possible adoption situation just to have them shattered?

Thing #1 I am not outwardly “Praise the Lord” kind of person, however I deeply believe in my Faith.

Thing #2 I love getting message, e-mails and questions. They get me thinking and writing and I usually end up turning them into a blog post.

That being said: How do you not get your hopes up in a possible adoption situation just to have them shattered?

(Sorry to get a little preachy on ya’.)

I think the only thing you can do, even though it's hard at the time, trust in Heavenly Father. He has a plan for you. He knows how and when your baby is meant to come! Following promptings you get and it will lead you to the child that was meant to be yours. I know how emotionally hard that is to do at the time. But once you have your baby you will be to see the Lords hand in it all. I swore I would never do foster care again, but my friend talked me into it. As we worked on getting re-certified, Samantha was finding out she was pregnant. It's crazy how it worked out. Once we had Em we could see how we were guided to be in the right place to get her!

I know it's not the best advice. I had days that I wondered WHY God put me through this trial. Hadn't I already been through enough? It can be emotionally draining and there is no quick fix, but try to keep up hope. I had some rough days!

One day we were asked (in foster care) about a 2 year old little boy. We went and met him, I fell in love. I wanted him, I loved him, he was to be ours! They were debating between 2 or 3 families. When I got the call that they went with the family that already had 8 kids I cried. I cried hard. Why, Why should he go to a family that already has lots of kids and I have none! It’s not fair, it doesn’t make sense! Why can’t I have just one?

I don’t know God’s reasoning other then he wasn’t meant to be mine. Emma was. I saw that little boy recently. He was happy and healthy. I remembered the pain of finding out I didn’t get to be his mom. Then I looked at my daughter and forgot all about it. I felt so grateful that she is mine, forever.

Why did we have to go through our adoption scam? I don’t know… We learned a lot, most things I can’t even put in words. Maybe to set an example of what true forgiveness really is. I learned how deeply I love and care about Samantha, even when she makes mistakes.

Trusting in God’s plan sometimes is hard. Taking steps into the darkness, into the unknown, can be scary. But once you are done you realize it wasn’t so hard and you came out braver and stronger. Even though at the time you thought for sure it was going to kill you (emotionally).

No comments: