Saturday, April 2, 2011

Another letter...

Have you ever had one of those times that you just have no idea what to say to someone? I’m sure she doesn’t expect anything or much of a response back from me, but I’m still stumped…

I got a FB message from Sam’s step-mom. Being in contact with Emma’s birth families is awesome, cool, weird, and crazy at times. Today I told Brad “BOTH of Emma’s birth parents are (going to be) in prison. Not just jail, Prison!” Its nuts I tell ya.

After getting Sam’s letter today I’ve realized how okay I am with everything that has gone on. If I do cry it is not because I feel hurt or angry, it feeling the loss of a baby. Wanting so badly to have another little one. I feel greedy saying that. I have one beautiful daughter that I could not love any more then I do, but I want more!

You know the saying “I wish I knew then what I know now!” That is what comes to mind after reading Sam’s step-mom’s message to me. She tells me about how Sam lies all the time and about things that have no reason to be lies. Dang, wish I knew this like a year ago! Still, I don’t regret anything. I’m a perfectionist, especially when it comes to writing people, so I’m trying to sort my thoughts and write Sam’s step-mom back…

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