Truth

Yesterday after getting Sam’s letter I thought a lot about it/ her. She will be leaving for prison as soon as Thursday (the prison is about 4 to 5 hours away) and our jail only has visits on Saturday morning. So, this would be the last chance to visit her for up to a year and ½. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be in for yet, 3 to 9 months before she can parole, but she wants to just stick it out and not go on parole so probably a year to 1 ½. I decided that I would go and see her today.

I was anxious to see what she had to say and how it would go. Our jail only has 7 visitation times and only 4 people per time, the later you go the busy it is. I’ve learned that the first time is the best to go. I got there 20 minutes early, because even then sometimes it’s already filled. I don’t do well when I’m anxious and to make things worse, the visit time was pushed back by an 30 minutes! We eventually went in.

Sam didn’t expect us to come see her. I have had so many thoughts and questions that I wanted to say in person. Writing one tiny postcard is hard to pack everything in, I know, write more then one, but they are .30 cents each so I use them sparingly.

I asked her to tell me the 100% true story about her pregnancy, so here it is: She claims she really was pregnant, found out the day she told me and the first 3 months were all the truth. She had an amnio, it was a boy, however, what she didn’t tell me back then, she was doing drugs! She said she thinks it was a combo of the drug use and stress about being in jail caused her to have a miscarriage. She said it happened around Nov. 17, she started bleeding bad and they took her to the hospital.

We talked about her drug use. I asked her why she not only lied about being pregnant, but came up with such other crazy details (like her fake premature labor). She said “I came up with some crazy stuff when I was high!” I was kind of annoyed with some things that came out, but I told her “All I care about is you are being HONEST with me!”

We will continue writing and see how things go.