LOVED!

This morning I was on Facebook and I saw a link to "50 Best Blogs for Adoption". I looked at their site and noticed a fellow adoptive mom (Ashley)'s blog. I went to her Facebook page to tell her about it. A little while later I looked at the site again and noticed I'm on there too! That's so awesome!

I just love blogging about our experiences and I had to laugh at their description of me: Very earnest, very emotional, very educational. Not Sugar Coated serves as an excellent resource and online support for the infertile considering adoption.

Anyone who has ever met me knows I'm a very emotional person! LOL. I will most likely be bawling when Payson's being born. The other day I kept thinking, we've been waiting for this day (having a newborn baby born to us) for almost 7 years! Now, I could not possibly love Emma more then I, BUT getting her through foster care and not knowing if she was going to be ours for 2 months (which is actually short in foster care world) is a whole different ball game! No matter what I do I can never have the first 4 1/2 months of her life, I miss that, but I'm still willing to do it all over again with future foster kids. What I'm getting at is, I've wanted to have a child of my own and now having Samantha in our lives while she's pregnant with the baby she's going to place with us is a dream come true. See a pregnant belly and knowing the life inside there is your child. Being able to see the child be born and be there it's first seconds of life is a dream come true. (See, I'm tearing up just writing this!)

As much as I love blogging I dis-like the occasional attack or comments like "why on earth do you feel that way?" about MY thoughts and feelings. I sometimes feel like I have to share my life story to validate feeling certain ways! Like just because I didn't like the fact that a 15 year old girl on a TV show kept her baby. I'm not against teen parents or single moms, it was just the vibe I got from the show.

Sam has been sick, but she is still hoping to feel better enough to come over later this afternoon. She has a doctor's appointment next week. I'm trying not to get excited or get my hopes up after what happened last time. 6 months ago I was so excited to be apart of this pregnancy. I was going to get to go to doctor's appointments. I was going to hang his little ultrasound pictures on my fridge. Now, I just want him to come and to be healthy. I don't care if I never go to the doctor with her. I'd love to at least see an ultrasound picture, but with 3 weeks left before I comes I doubt I will. His bed is now set up, at least until we get our taxes back and then we can actually buy the kid a crib. 1 of the 2 matching blankets is done. My husband has the next 3 days off, so just maybe I can finish the other one!