Thursday, January 20, 2011

Stress and Training

I had a foster care training tonight and it was so much fun! I love meeting other foster parents, hearing their stories, talking about all sorts of different foster care things! I met the woman who had Madison in foster care before we got her. I just love foster care! Today the person over our cluster asked if I was done because of everything else going on, Nope! Now, 3 years ago I was having a hard time. I thought I could never do it again. In reality I just bit off more then I could chew with Isaac and I was feeling drained at the time. I took some "time off" and realized that I could do it again and I felt a strong tug that our children are meant to come to us through foster care.

We have been so blessed with Emma's case. I love our open adoption with Sam. I was able to get all sorts of info on her birth families and I still get more info whenever I want. I was able to get pictures of Emma being born and of the few months before we got her. And the thing most important to me, the pictures of her with me and of Emma, Sam and I.

Today I got Samantha's birthday present all done. Her birthday is in 2 weeks and I've been so excited over making her present. I'll post some pictures of it later... Speaking of, she got arrested again. Seriously? So I'm worried about how long she'll be in for. If I don't hear from her tomorrow I'll go in Saturday and visit her if she's still there. I'm also curious as to what she got arrested for. Ahhhh. I can't believe how stress-free Emma's whole adoption process was. From the day we got her until the day we finalized I had 2 stressful days, that's it! When they went to mediation to decided if they were going to pursue termination or if they there going to give Sam more time, they gave her more time. Then know the day before that she was contemplating adoption up until our caseworker told me as we were walking back to her office to talk to Sam. All in all, it wasn't too bad!

Baby's has had more ups and downs then I can count. I wasn't all that nervous after Sam told me she was pregnant, I knew what she was going to decide. Things were good and easy in the beginning, she went to doctors appointments, she had an amnio done and the results were that it was a Boy and he was 100% healthy. Then I didn't hear from her for awhile and I started to get worried. I texted her friend who's phone she was using, her friend responded that they had kicked her out. I worried, a LOT. Where was? Was she and the baby okay? I don't remember how long after that Kay sent me a message that she wasn't pregnant. It was a rough few days. I was supposed to go to a doctor's appointment with her. I call the doctor's office and asked about the appointment she told me about, they said they had no record of her. The next day her mom, Kay, told me she was arrested and was back in town. I went to see her that Saturday, she told me she was pregnant and was still planning on placing him with us. Things when smoothly while she was in there, although I was worried about her being in there when she delivered. She got out, things were okay. I wasn't able to get a hold of her 100% of the time because she didn't always have a phone. She missed meeting with the attorney. Then she finally made a doctors appointment, I was SO excited to see an ultrasound of the little guy. I was counting down the hours till the appointment, then that morning she had to cancel. She made another appointment, which also didn't happen. I still don't know if she was lying about the appointment or if it was the doctor's office screw up with no record of it.... Then she went into premature labor. Now, she's back in jail. I really, strongly, want this to be OVER!!!!!! I want baby out and I want to be done (with the adoption). But, once he's here I'd probably do it all over again. 11 weeks until his due date and 6 weeks until his c-section! Holy cow, it's only 6 weeks away.... Can I start panicking yet?

And while I was writing this post I got a mean text from my ex-friend... Seriously, I'm so stressed over everything (and now mad) I'm shaking, literally!

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