Our awesome caseworker (when I told her about #2) asked me some questions I might as well answer on here.
Do you think birth mom is clean? YES. She has a past with drugs, but she told me she hasn't used since her 1 relapse before the baby was conceived. Which I knew about. She told me she doesn't want to use anymore either. I even asked our caseworker if she remembers birth mom always smelling like cigarette smoke, yes. Well, she no longs smells like it which confirms to me that she's quit. Now drinking, I don't know. Birth mom also told me that her doctor is drug testing her.
Do you think she might change her mind? To be honest, I'm scared she will. Do I think she will, No. She told me over and over again, she is 150% sure of this. She feels this is OUR baby. Our caseworker was floored as I told her that I felt instantly that this child was meant to be ours and that birth mom felt that same way. Our caseworker also told me that once she decided to relinquish with Emma she Never questioned it or wavered, she was set on doing it and she did!
Why don't you go through LDS Family Service? Because to go through them our minimum $ would be $4,000. Going privately we ONLY pay legal fees, we don't have to pay a "middle man" for anything. Our legal fees for Emma's is about $840. Yeah, I think I will save $3,000+. Also the main thing with going to LDSFS is they help adoptive couples find birth parents and vise versa , since we did that on our own there is no need to. Even though our Bishop's son is the one who does the adoptions here, I'll pass.
Are you going to find out the sex of that baby? YES! Can't wait to find out.
When can you find out? Um.... I'm not the pregnant one and never have been so I'm not 100% when we can find out... I think birth mom said end of October? Let's see, she's almost 9 weeks, you can find out at what 16 or 20? So right around the time we finalize the adoption, October or November!
Do you feel you have more children coming? Yes... It's complicated. Struggling with infertility and knowing I can't just pop out these children makes it tough. Without sharing details, I have always felt that I would have 7 kids (yeah crazy, I know!). Like I said, it's complicated. Brad wants to be done, but I asked him, how can we be done when I know there are 5 other children that are meant to be ours?!?
Is Emma's name officially Emma? Well, she of all people should know, it's not officially Emma until we finalize. But yes, we are 100% sure of her name. We call her Emma, my favorite nickname for her is Emma Sam! I love using her full name, I think it is perfect! Her birth mom still occasionally calls her Jay. I'm not pushing it until we finalize, but once it's official I don't want her to be confused about her name, so I want strictly Emma. Yes, she will always know her name was Jay. I made her this very cute "My Adoption Story" book that I read to her and explains how she came into our lives, how much Brad and I and her birth mom love her and how we changed her name. My heart melts when she sits there and listens intently as I read it to her!