Thursday, August 26, 2010

To mark 5 years since we started fertility....

I'm Pregnant!!!

Yes, That's right!!!

April Fools... cuz that's when our birth mom is due!!!!! Ha ha ha... Yes, crazy crazy I know. On Aug. 9th I was online chatting with Emma's birth mom and she told me she was pregnant. I instantly knew in my heart this too was our baby. I didn't want to be forcing her into placing her baby, but at the same time I knew that would be best. Little did I know that she felt the same way, she instantly knew that it was Our baby, but she didn't want to push us into it. I talked openly with her about her options, parenting vs. adoption. I told her I was worried because she had just barely decided to relinquish on Emma and I felt like if she couldn't parent Emma what was different now. That first day I didn't flat out tell her we wanted the baby. I mean, I knew I wanted it but after Brad and I talk we both agreed that we could not say no to this child. If it was anyone else we would of say no, it's too soon. But this is Emma's sibling!

Our birth mom had a doctor's appointment the next day (the 10th) to confirm the pregnancy. She let me know that it was all positive and they took out her 5 year birth control she had in! It was hard NOT to get excited. This is it, we are getting a baby at birth! At the same time I didn't want to get my hopes up and have her decide to parent. We talked more about what she wanted to do. She told me she was leaning towards adoption but would ONLY place the baby with us. I reassured her that we wanted it.

On Tuesday (the 17th) I all of a sudden had an urge to get the name and # to a adoption counselor at LDS Family Service to give to her. I sent her the info and later that night she responded thanking me for it and asked if we wanted to get together while she was in town. (she now lives about 2 hours away from us) She also said she wanted to talk about the baby in person.... I KNEW what she was going to say. Wednesday I didn't hear from her, but that night I got a Facebook message from her mom saying birth mom wanted to talk to me in the morning and needed my #. Thursday morning around 10:30 she called and we arranged to go to the park at 1.

Emma is usually good about her naps, but not Thursday. I laid her down at 10:30 and got in the shower and got out and she was still awake. Finally I decided to go run errands since she wasn't sleeping. I got home and our car broke down as soon as I turned it off! I started panicking a little. I called my husband and he took an early lunch so that he could come home and I could have a car. We went out and picked up birth mom and had to take hubby back to work. It was so nice because my husband hasn't been around her as much as I have and doesn't know her as well. I think it was good for both of them to be able to just chat as we drove to hubby's work.

We went to the park and it was raining a little, we tried putting Emma on a swing and wondered around before ending up at a picnic table. We started talking and I don't know how we got on the subject, but we started talking about the baby and she told me she had already decided and wants to place it for adoption and wants us to have it! We talked about a lot of things. I told her it was hard because of her past and now knowing she is carrying our baby and I can't control what our baby is exposed to. We're still working on our relationship. I put a lot of trust in her and people are so afraid I'm going to get hurt by her. She told me over and over again that she is NOT going to change her mind. She is 150% sure she is going to place this baby. We talked about all the legal stuff and we're still trying to figure out where she will deliver. Now that we live in different states it complicates things. We have been thinking about moving to the same city as her, but not sure if or when we will. She is thinking about having the baby here so we don't have to do an ICPC and all the jazz.

She and I both think it's a girl! She took one of those pregnancy gender tests and it said girl. She said she took one with all her kids and they all have been right. I want to be there when she finds out the sex! I'm still in shock that we get a baby at birth! My head is still spinning around the fact that this is all happening so soon! We will finalize Emma's adopting and welcome her sibling within 5 months!!!! The excitement has turned to stressed.... I'm still excited but also nervous and stressed (financially) about this all. We are also 100% sure what we will name him if he is a boy and still trying to figure out a girl name. We have some ideas, but I'm the third Don/Dawn in a row so I'm trying to come up with a name with don in it...


Lauren said...

Oh my gosh, that is just so exciting! Congratulations!!!!!

Browniris said...

That is exciting news! Congratulations!