Our final visit with Emma's mom is approching and I am still trying to finish up with her gifts! I finished the blanket and the CD of pictures. I need to do the music CD, but I'm just making sure I see all ideas out there before I'm done. I came across this article and wanted to share the Top 10 Gift Ideas for a Birth Mother
I am not talking about the average store bought music CD. I am talking about making the CD. There are bound to be songs, whatever the genre, that make the adoptee think of the birth mother. Consider creating a burned CD with those songs on them. I can guarantee, the birth mom will never hear those songs again without realizing the connection and how special it is.
(I have my list of songs I'm giving our birth mom in a previous post, but I also found this list of ideas)
This does not have to be a full blown out scrapbook or picture album. A small dollar store album is perfect. Select photographs from the adoptees childhood, perhaps even one from each year, and assemble an album for the birth mother. Remember, they were not there to watch the adoptee grow up, and this is as good as it gets. A truly treasured look into their adult child's childhood.
This is an easy choice. Most discount chains have a jewelry department, and in that jewelry department they have those little "best friend" necklaces that are hearts that are broken in half. One friend wears one side of the heart, while the other wears the other connecting heart piece. In addition to these best friend necklaces, there are mother/daughter necklaces. One half has "mother" on it, and the other half has "daughter" on it. This is a wonderful gift, especially if there are a lot of miles that separate the biological mother from the adoptee.
(I love this idea!)
This too is another great gift idea. Purchase a charm bracelet rather inexpensively from a discount chain jewelry department. Next, select charms that represent your relationship. Perhaps you can find a charm from your state, or one that says daughter, one with your birth stone, maybe you met over coffee one time, a coffee mug would be great, or perhaps you communicate via email most of the time - a computer charm would be a great choice. Fill it up or only purchase a few, and it can be a yearly tradition of buying new charms.
You don't have to be a great writer to write down your thoughts or construct a poem for a birth mother. Remember, it is the thought that counts, and just letting them know how you feel by writing a short story or poem or even a very special letter, is often the only gift they need.
Make An Ornament
Use your hands to create something for the birth mom. An ornament is suggested because they can display it on their Christmas tree and think of the adoptee each year they pull it out. However, a special box, frame, or anything else would work too. Include a photo and if there is a photo of the birth mom and adoptee together, that would be the perfect choice.
Show Off Your Gift
Take a photograph or a short video of the adoptee's talents. Perhaps the adoptee is an artist and enjoys painting, include photos or a video of them painting. Dancing, playing a musical instrument, creative writing, gymnastics, crafting, or whatever the talent is, highlight these with a photograph or video. Attach a tag that says "Thank you for the gifts you have given me. The gift of ______ (music) is truly special, just like you."
Take It One Step Further
If there is a talent the adoptee was blessed with, that can be given as a gift, use it. For instance, if the adoptee plays the piano, record them playing. If they paint, give the birth mother a beautiful painting to hang and remind them of the special connection.
Sometimes a coffee mug or a simple candle works best in these instances. Especially when an adoptee is still struggling with what feelings they wish to convey and what exactly they want to say. Biological mothers are typically going through the same feelings adoptees are, and probably aren't sure what to buy either. Keeping it simple takes all the pressure off, and makes gift giving easier.
Adoption Cards and Framed Art
There are several adoption themed greeting cards and framed art on the market now. Sometimes they can be found in stores, and other times it is easier to simply search the Internet. There are all types of things that were created by adoptee's to give to birth parents. These are easier to give, because they often say what the standard cards don't.
No matter what gift you choose to give, remember that it is from the heart that counts. This relationship is fragile and special, and that is what is important.
- Our case worker told me even just a framed picture of Emma would be good, but that's too simple for me. Although I might add that to what I'm already doing.