Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Still waiting...

It’s going to be a LONG day and I can’t sleep, ugg. Braxdon has a doctor’s appointment at 8:00 AM, we are NOT morning people around here. Then it’s off to visiting teaching for me, followed by a meeting at DCFS. The closer it gets the more anxious I feel. Why am I anxious… We know Clyde’s case is going to adoption, it is a given. But, his birth mom "Kim"’s aunt is desperately looking for ANYONE she has ever met to adopt Clyde.

Emma’s case was SO easy. 2 months in, it’s going to adoption and we were adopting her. I know, we’re about 4 months in, but it is hard not knowing 100% for sure. I am hoping to meet Kim’s aunt at the meeting and having a heart to heart with her.

What is best for Braxdon? I am not being greedy or selfish for saying this, I’m looking for what is best for this baby… He is best off with my husband and I adopting him. He calls me “Mama”, Brad is “Dada”, he can say Emma, Maggie (our dog) and other words like Hi and Whoa. If Dada gets up with him in the morning, when I get up and come into the room his face lights up and he comes to me saying, “mama, mama, mama!” He knows us, he is attached to us, he loves us, we are his family. We have had him for roughly 1/3 of his life. Is it best for him if he is ripped away from first his birth mom and then attach to another family and is ripped away from them too?

No, no it is not. With every case we have ever had our motto has been “Whatever happens, happens.” Sometimes I fall in love with kids we never get, that’s just how it’s meant to be. When we found out we would not be getting Braxdon I was very upset. I kept thinking, “Why am I so mad, it’s just how it’s meant to be. No, it’s not fair we didn’t get him!” Low and behold a few days later we did get him! Now when it comes to his adoption I feel like I am fighting for him. I don’t want this aunt find some estranged family member who has never meet Clyde that will take him away from me. No, he is meant to be my son. I don’t say that just because I want to adopt him. I honestly think it is best to not re-traumatize him by changing his environment, home and family yet again!

We’ll see how this meeting goes. I just want to explain to Kim’s aunt why and what I think is best for Braxdon!


Adopt2FosterMommy said...

We have a Maggie dog as well! :)

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