I’ll admit, I did the “Bra Color” game and laughed as my husband was wondering what the heck was going on! It is the only one I have done. The “I like it on” and shoe sizes one I thought were all dumb. Whoever invented the “I’m pregnant one”, you went TOO far. The others were not offensive or hurtful, but this…. Really what infertile wants to read dozens of “I’m 14 weeks and crazing pickles!” Just another reminder of what we may never have!
I first heard of this game on my “infertility account” on facebook. I know, I’m weird I have my own account and my infertility one. I heard about it before I ever saw a post, thank heavens! Then the post started coming… gag me! I got the message inviting me to do it. I said something on my infertility account because I knew people could relate. But did I dare say something on my account…. No guts no glory! The first comment to my status “FYI the "I'm pregnant game" isn't very funny or cute (or even promote breast cancer awareness), especially to those of us who have struggled with infertility!” was from my friend who sent me the message about the game saying she was sorry. Then I noticed a message, she sent everyone a link to an infertile’s blog about the game! Then she posted she feels guilty for promoting that game.
Now, I’ve dealt with a lot of inconsiderate people when it comes to infertility and 99% of them just don’t care. It’s no big deal in their eyes. I’m amazed at my friend for now spreading the word on how hurtful this game can be!
Post Update: I can't keep my big mouth shut on this.... I was honered to recieve this message from a friend on the subject, "I agree completely about the "game" that is being played. It breaks my heart that so many people are suffering from infertility. I am even more sorry that one of those people is you. As an individual who doesn't know what it is like to want a child so bad I am grateful that I have people like you in my life that I can learn from. I am sorry your pain is a blessing in my life."
Then my gut churned for another friend who posted my status above. She got the dreeded, "Don't stress over it" advice. If you've struggled with infertility and it's not a secret, then there is a good chance you've heard it before. "Just relax and it will happen. Stop trying for a while." It's NOT helpful. In fact, it's just hurtful! That advise does not help in creating a baby! Infertility is a disorder not a mind set!
To be honest (um, when am I not) I can't stress it enough now emotionally hard infertility is! I have been through every form of abuse possible, have suffered from depression and Infertility is the hardest thing I have ever been through! As I alid in bed trying to sleep I remembered one time while we were TTC, I went to take a pregnancy test. I locked myself in the bathroom and bawled while my husband was out side the door asking, "Well??". I cry just thinking about all of the rough times.
Today we took our daughter swimming. I took some way cute pictures of her while we were there. After we put her to bed I was looking at them and I told my husband, "I'd think after 1 1/2 years of having her I wouldn't get this way over a picture of her. But I still can not get enough of her!"
This is my all time favorite video on infertility. Every person alive should watch it! (here: Empty Arms, Broken Hearts)
Here is the blogger who posted about it (here). I didn’t feel as strongly disguised with this game as this blogger, but still! Very well said!
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2 comments:
Here's another good read on the subject: http://www.andysclan.com/2011/09/influx-of-pregnancy-nope.html.
I didn't think of the hurt it could cause people - though I did honestly think a 17-yr-old who just went through a breakup with a boy a few days ago was pregnant until I saw a message in my inbox. I don't know who's thought of the past few games like this, but they're getting worse with each one. I'm glad I didn't participate after reading your post, and the one you linked to, for more reasons than my original reasons for staying out of it.
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