Friday, September 2, 2011

Foster Care Friday:

Joey left 7 weeks ago. The day he left was a little crazy. We had no idea he was going to kinship that day. I started out the morning as usual. I got him ready to go for his visit. He was still in his pajamas so I put an outfit in the diaper bag, along with a bottle, burp cloth and lotion. As I was putting his car seat in the caseworkers car I found out he was going to kinship that day. While he was at the visit I packed up his things. I figured I at least would see him one last time, say good bye, change his clothes and get our stuff back. It didn’t happen like that. He left while he was at the visit. When I found out he left at the visit I told the caseworker that a handful of stuff that was with him was ours. Okay, no problem we’ll get it back.

I went back in a few weeks later to see if they had my stuff. No, we need a detailed list of the things. I scramble my brain, What did I even send? I made the list to the best of my knowledge. A few days maybe a week later I realized I get the wrong details about the outfit. I went back in and left caseworker a note. I waited a few more weeks, no word. I went back in and left caseworker a note asking if they had gotten my stuff. 6 weeks after Joey left, still nothing. Now I know it’s not the end of the world. The stuff’s value was maybe $20 total, but I’m a sentimental person. The burp cloth was a gift to us for Ben. My husband is a huge baseball fan and I found the outfit sometime in the 6 years of TTC for our future son. The pajamas, I bought right around the time Brad and I met, weird I know! My boss gave me a $100 gift card to Dillard’s and I couldn’t find anything for me, so I bought baby clothes! Yep, I know I’m crazy! The bottle, Ben and Emma (and Joey) all drank from that bottle, no worries, I did buy new nipples for them. Okay, back to 6 weeks later…. I go into DCFS again. The caseworker tells me they lost the list of items and asks for it again. Yesterday caseworker called and said my stuff was there. I picked it up today. I got the outfit and the lotion back. They also included 4 bottles, none of which were mine, pajamas also not mine, and 3 shirts none of them were mine. The caseworker asked if that was my stuff or if it was okay. Whatever, I’m tired of fighting this battle over trivial things! For future placements I’m marking all our stuff with an N, like I do with the clothes, but on everything. Brad said, we should just make sure to send them to a visit with just their own stuff. Only problem with that plan is sometimes, like Joey and Emma, they don’t come with hardly anything so you physically can’t do that!

Next thought of today: I LOVE our doctor! On Sunday Emma got a blister looking thing on her lip. Monday it was really bothering her, and she got another one. Soon they were all over her tongue and inside her mouth! She would cry in pain for hours, wouldn’t eat or drink anything and nothing helped! We were out of town (of course) so we couldn’t go to the doctor today. I guess our doctor wasn’t in because we w saw the PA. After talking about Emma’s blister and she looked at them, and said she didn’t see any inside her mouth (when I got home I easily saw 5 without even searching), she came back in and asked me, “Do you or your dad ever get cold sores?” I was taken back by the question. What does that have to do with my (adopted) daughter? I sat there with a puzzled look on my face and told her, I don’t know. PA “You’d know if you did.” By this point it’s sinking in, oh yeah she doesn’t know Emma is adopted and obviously wants my personal history in reference to Em. So all Emma has is cold sores. As I drove home I thought, man I really love our doctor. He is great with Emma being adopted and never asks me questions like that.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Thank you for your blog. I came across it while blog surfing. My husband and I have also been TTC for almost 5 years. We were told almost 3 years ago that it would be very difficult to conceive without IVF...too expensive and not a guarantee. We have been trying to adopt through LDS Family services since Oct. 2008, and became lisenced for foster care this past March. We got our first placement in May and should know by the end of the month if we will be able to adopt him. I have felt everything in your posts at one time or another. I'm not very good with words and it's nice to read how someone else has verbalized this difficult trial.

Thanks again!