Saturday, July 23, 2011

Struggling

I was doing great... Key word is WAS.


Don't you love it when the pain of infertility comes out of nowhere and hits you like a ton of bricks? In the past 7 months we've had 3 family members announce pregnancy. The first is due any day. Tonight when my husband read me the expecting parents facebook status it got to me.


It is nothing against them. Just that ever familiar pain that has been hiding out, waiting to spring up on me when I least expect it.


This person mentioned their mother-in-law was there taking care of them before the baby comes. It got me thinking... I do foster care, no one brings me dinner when we get a new little one, no one comes to help me out or help me adjust to two under two, no one gives me baby gifts, I still have to teach Relief Society 3 days after our little one arrives because after all it's not like I gave birth...


I know Emma isn't even 2 yet, but it's hard just knowing I can't have a baby whenever I want.

6 comments:

Leila- All Meant To Shine said...

I completely know how you feel. I actually have had 3 people in my family in the past 2 months announce their pregancies. I also have PCOS. We are blessed to have 1 bio daughter, who is 7 1/2, and we actually just got completely put in the system to start being called to foster to adopt! I got PCOS after our daughter and only my faith in God can take away some of the sting that I feel because I have not been able to have more children. It is really, really hard and my prayers will be with you :) I don't think that anyone can understand how it feels unless they have gone or are going through infertility. I hope your week gets better! Oh and about the name... maybe you or your husband can casually mention how that was going to be the name of your son and how you will always remember him (maybe in a not good way) every time you hear it. Maybe that will get them thinking that they might not want that for you or for their son.

Tami said...

I do understand how you feel. I also have PCOS, and can relate so much to the pain of pregnancy announcements.
We also talked to a family member way back when we first started TTCing because they were thinking of using a name I wanted to use. Neither of us are going to use it at this point, but they have since taken 2 names we really liked. They didn't know they had, but sometimes it just bugs me.
I would say if you feel comfortable doing it, talk to them about it. I guess my opinion is a little different because all of my sibilings named one of their girls after my mom, so they all have the same middle name. Doesn't bother any of us.
Anyways, I am sorry you are down. I hope you get out of the dumps soon. *Hugs*

Annie said...

I know what you mean! We have struggled for 5 years to have children with nothing to show for it except a list of names. I've had a cousin use one, 2 sisters-in-law use them and a co-worker take one too. They all even knew we wanted to use those names. In fact one sister-in-law used my husband's middle name as the middle name for her son! It's my Father-in-law's name, but she didn't even ask if we were ok with her using it! Now if we ever do have a son we can't pass down the family tradition because I refuse to have everyone have the same middle names! I'm still mad about it. Selfish? Maybe. But if people know you want to use the name they should respect that. It's not like you would use a name she had picked out!

April said...

I wouldn't be too concerned about two kids sharing the same middle name. My niece has the same middle name as my daughter (mine is the older child), but it's not an issue. Both are named after the same grandmother (and my daughter also after her birth mother who was named after her mother). Names can become a touchy topic though. That's one reason why we shared very few of the names we were considering.

the Sorensen's said...

I feel your pain! It's so hard to be happy for others when inside, your heart is being shattered. My husband and I have been unsuccessful in the last 4 years... and we don't have the money for fertility... so we just go month to month with more and more heartache. Then, this last weekend, my husbands lil sister - who is 19 and just got married 2 weeks ago - just told us she is pregnant. I'm happy for her, but... I'm so bitter for lack of a better word. Why? How? It's not fair. :(

Mary said...

I can relate and I am sorry for your frustrations and heartaches! Hang in there.