Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Open or Closed

My friend who is looking to adopt just posted about her feelings about wanting an open adoption for their child, this is my response to her's and I wanted to share:

It's a HUGE decision. At first I thought I could not have an open through foster care. As we got to know Sam better we felt more comfortable around her. By the time she decided to place Emma I was up for being open. As our relationship has grown, I (and hubby) have been more and more open with her. I love sharing with her what Emma is doing and all the cute little things she does. She has truly become a friend. BUT at the same time, her family has been un-supportive of her decision to relinquish on Emma. She said they freaked out when she told them about the baby, that's why she is now telling them she isn't even pregnant. Plus, Em's biological grandma has e-mailed me lies to get between me and Sam in attempt to ruin baby's placement.

I Love how my friends feel about their hopeful open adoption! Trust me, if your birth mom is anything like Sam, they will LOVE how you feel. Samantha was thrilled that we wanted open. And wanting to name the baby something after the birth family to remind them how much they are loved, LOVE that too! ;) We really struggled with Emma's middle name then we thought of Samantha after her birth mom and it was so perfect! We're not doing anything after baby's birth family though.

I am stalking up on books about adoption to read to Emma and baby as they grow. She they can know and understand more about adoption, how much we love them and also how much their birth families love them. Like I keep saying, I LOVE the adoption exchange. I just got set #2 from them. I got 1 kids book, 1 adult book and 1 book on how to make a life book. It's targeted more towards a child in foster care, but it's still neat.

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