Monday, October 11, 2010

How to Cope with Halloween When You're Not Able to Get Pregnant

By kathanknows

Let's face it, the holidays are hard when you're struggling to get pregnant. The holidays that are especially difficult are the ones mainly focused around children, like Halloween. Seeing your friends' children dressed up in adorable costumes is a huge reminder of what you don't have and it can be painful.

Here are some things you can do to make Halloween less scary...and maybe even fun!


  • Make memories during the entire fall season. Spend time in the cool autumn weather doing fun things with your spouse and other adult friends. Go apple or pumpkin picking, take a hike and check out the fall foliage, go to an adult costume party or a football game. Though infertility is painful, having the freedom to do what you want can be perk. Enjoy this time of your life as much as you can.
  • Go all out. Decorate your house, wear a costume, put a costume on the dog and fill a big bowl with candy. Spend time outside and mingle with the adults that are trick-or-treating with the children. You might want to even host a bonfire after the kids get back from collecting candy. Many people are out on Halloween and it's a great time to get to know your neighbors!
  • Spend the evening alone. After the trick-or-treaters have gone, cook your favorite cool-weather comfort food and make it something you do only on Halloween. Or order take-out. Start a tradition and make it something you do every year.
  • Go away. If being around children is just too hard, do break the Halloween mold. Go out to dinner or spend a night at a hotel. If you have friends without young children, arrange a night out with them (away from your house so you aren't there when the trick-or-treaters arrive).
  • Feel how you feel. If you feel sad, that's okay. When you try to ignore your pain and grief, it will only come out later, and sometimes in destructive ways. Besides, experiencing grief makes us human.
  • Know that you're not alone. Infertility can be very isolating. You might feel like being upset about something like Halloween is stupid, or that you're the only one who feels this way. But you're not. If you want to find others who are in your shoes, try locating an infertility support group near you. A local church or RESOLVE.com is a good place to start.

2 comments:

What to Expect When You're Least Expecting said...

I just found your blog from another blog, and I appreciated this post very much. Fall has always been my favorite season, but since we have been trying to understand the purpose of our infertility for 6 years, Fall has lost some of its savor for me. I guess I didn't realize that something so trivial as Halloween not only affects me but does cause pain to others. We always attend the Trunk or Treat, but it always leaves me feeling quite low. Maybe this year we should follow your advice and take off for the weekend. Thank you for your post!

Fatcat said...

Not related to halloween, but have you ever googled the links between gluten intolerance and infertility?

Might be worth a look.