Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Meant To Be...

Thursday as we waited in our caseworkers office for the visit, we were able to talk to her about a lot of things. Have I mentioned that we LOVE our caseworker? She is so great. We talked about how when certain kids are just meant to be in certain families and how things just work out. The first time I saw Ben I knew he wasn't mine. We still loved him so much and it was hard to let him go. I also knew that Issac and Madison were not mine either. Then I met Emma. I didn't get the feelings that she wasn't mine, but I didn't get the feelings that she was. My thoughts and feel were, "go with the flow." I wrote this post only 4 days after we got Emma, I did not add that the main reason why I got up and bore my testimony that day. The spirit kept telling me, if I did that we would be able to keep Emma! Every time someone else got up and bore their testimony I would start bawling! The last spiritual prompting I had that was that strong was that we needed to try to have a baby 6 years ago! I didn't want to share those details at the time, but now that we are going to be adopting Emma it's time to share and blogging is the easiest was for me to write things down. I didn't even tell Brad about the experience until last week! I was too afraid that I would share that and then it wouldn't come true.

When we had Ben everyone said he looked like Brad. Now with Emma, Everyone Everywhere we go says she looks exactly like me and my side of the family. Her little noise reminds me of my sisters noise as a baby! On Brad's birthday we went to Zion's. We had, had Emma for 10 days and as we walked along the trail someone looked at Emma and said, she is so cute. Then looked up at me and said, she looks exactly like her mom! Not that looks have anything to do with how Emma is meant to be in our family, it's just been fun to have her look so much like me! Another thing I need to write down so I don't forget- when we were in the courtroom waiting for birth mom, Emma's attorney, the "guardian ad litem " told me that she looks exactly like her brother. I know his name, but because of confidentiality I shouldn't say what it is. Oh I also forgot she was asleep when we took her around the courtroom to show her off, why did I think she was awake? Oh well, doesn't matter. The guardian ad litem also took some pictures of her because she was so cute! She wore her cute purple flower dress and everyone wouldn't stop talking about how cute she was. Afterwards we took some pictures of me with Emma and Brad with Emma and just Emma, at the park. The pictures turned out so cute, I love them! I need to put more pictures of her up since it is for sure now!

On Sunday I was talking to a lady in my ward that I just found out is trying to adopt again. She told me that her daughter is adopted and I remarked that you would never know because she looks like them. Now, I'm not against biracial adoptions, in fact I've been open to one up to now. But I do have to admit I'm so grateful that Emma looks like us. Now that we have her I'm so glad that she can go throughout her life being "normal". I'm sure it would be hard to have to explain everywhere you go that you are adopted and that's why you are African American and your parents are white. But we don't have to worry about that. Especially with kids out of foster care (I know she's too young to really grasp it) but they just want to be normal and fit in and I'm SO glad that Emma will be able to do so. Brad and I also talked about how we are not going to be telling everyone, everywhere we go, "She's adopted". Once she's old enough I feel like that's is her decision if she wants everyone to know. Obviously I'm not going to keep it a secret, if the topic comes up I will tell people, but I am not going to shout it from the roof tops! I thought it was funny. Just a few minutes after we talked about that we were at Costco and Brad told some random strangers, "We're adopting her!" LOL, okay what did we just talk about? I think he's a little excited!!!

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