Great article (here)
If you've been a foster parent or adopted through foster care you might connect with this.
If you know anyone who's done foster care, then you should read this!
I can totally relate this to when we had Isaac... I had to work hard with him. He would ask me for a treat, if I EVER gave him one (or exactly what he wanted)if caused future chaos! Because the next time he would ask for something, if I said no, he would meltdown. And I don't mean a little crying, huge tantrum meltdown for the next week or so everytime he didn't get his way. So I had to work hard to stand my ground and not give in. Then one day we were visiting family. He asked for chocolate milk, I said no. A family member thought I was being too harsh with him, so they made him a chocolate milk and gave me a dirty look as they handed it to him. They had no idea what I really was dealing with, with him. Now, don't go thinking I never gave him anything. He did get treats as reward for eating all his dinner or me just giving him something. It just could not be when he demanded or expected it.