I don't get why all of a sudden I'm being hit on all side with people saying things! For Memorial Day Weekend we went up to my husbands parents to visit with his family. 4 of the 6 kids were up there and we hadn't seen some of them in a while. We got on the subject of us doing foster care again and one SIL told me, "You were HORRIBLE to Issac!" I tried to defend myself, "Yeah I wasn't a perfect mom. He was a little monster and I had to be strict with him." She adds, "No, I never saw him act up, you were just mean to him!" I have to admit with my little boy, Issac, I did NOT deserve Mother of the Year award, but I did my best. At the time I was dealing with more then I could handle emotionally. Looking back, I wish I had blown up at my SIL and told her all the crap I was dealing with at the time. Another interesting thing, We had the same caseworker with all 3 of our foster kids and the caseworker and I have a mutual friend. The day after my sister-in-law said all this stuff I was talking to my friend and she told me about how our caseworker was telling her that she thought we were GREAT foster parents and she LOVED giving us kids because we were so GOOD with them! That made me feel good that at least one person has confidence in me as a mother!
I'm not trying to bash my SIL, but I've seen her in some not so great mothering moments. Heck, don't we all have those?!
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The quote on my calender at work this month is :
"There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one."
That is so true. There is no perfect mother in the world! Mothers make mistakes all the time. But I think all you can do is acknowledge what went wrong and then do you best to not do it again. I can remember days when my mom wasn't on top of her game and I can say the same about every other mother I know. But I can also say that I know my mom and those other moms do their very best to provide for their children and they love them unconditionally.
Besides each child needs to be handled in a different way. You are right to say that SIL had no idea what you were going through. She has never had the exact same situation. I'm sure you did the best you could, especially if the social worker is saying positive things. I would just ignore the comment from SIL and next time she makes a mistake with her children, don't point it out to her, but be sure to enjoy a soft chuckle behind her back.
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