Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Oh What a Day it has been...

Monday around 10 PM Sam texted me "something bad just happened and I don't know what to do". I asked What. Sam told me she and her friend "Ren" got locked out of their apartment because Ren didn't pay rent. After a bunch of "I'm coming to get you" and "No don't" I went and picked her up and she ended up staying the night at our house.

My parents played the "we saved you" card too much! They told me I'd be a homeless orphan without them, which is NOT true at all. I have 3 uncles that would of taken me if they had not! One of my uncles made it know my whole life that I was wanted and loved by them! I'm not going to do that to Emma, but at the same time I want her to know what her life could of been like if she was raised by Samantha. As I was going to get her and she told me not to come I asked her "So what are you going to just sleep outside tonight?" She told me yes and she had done it before! I can't imagine my sweet little 1-year-old girl being homeless right now.

Tuesday- I had a doctor's appointment at 11:30. Before I left we talked about what she was going to do. She said all her friends she could stay with do drugs so she didn't want to stay with them. Brad and I had talked about it in the past and as much as we love her, we agreed that one or two nights was okay but that was our limit. She started looking into staying at the homeless shelter. We felt bad, but we weren't going to offer her staying at our house.

I went to Dr. Midwife... To be honest, I've been through all but one doctor in this town and don't like any of them! (I'm not saying she's bad. I just dis-like when one doctor says one thing, another says a different thing and I get no where with my bleeding problems... We shall see how things go. If these med's work I will take it back and say I love her! LOL) She isn't 100% sure I have PCOS. Why not? 1) "You can't tell just from an ultrasounds", which is how Dr. who diagnosed it did it. 2) I'm not over weight although she wants me to lose 15 to 20 pounds! Holy cow!!! That would put me just over 100 pounds, can you say anorexic?? 3) I'm not hairy enough. Um, the 2 beard hairs I tweezed yesterday beg to differ! Anyway's... I wanted Provera because it's cheaper. She explained that natural progesterone works better and she told me of a pharmacy that it's only $20. I agreed to it. She also said Glucophage/ Metformin will help regulate my cycles and I might even ovulate on my own. So we're trying that as well.

I'm anxious to see how the medications work! Even though my Dr. Midwife told me to go to "hometown pharmacy" that I've heard is over priced, I priced out the Rx's at Walgreens. Progesterone = $120 and Metformin = $23. Hometown Pharmacy: Metformin= $11 and Progesterone was $20!!! Not too shabby! So thankful to be able to go to the doctor and get on a prescription!!!!

Back to Samantha... I got home, she talked to the shelter about going there, Emma napped, Ren brought over some of Sam's stuff, we were eating lunch and Sam talked to her Parole Officer. She asked us if her PO could come over, Sure. She came over and they talked outside. Then a police officer came. They continued to talk outside. Then they came in, Sam was crying and said they needed to search her stuff. We were then filled in on the drama (which will not be blogged about). She and her PO went into the bathroom to do a drug test. Sam came out crying and said she was going to jail. I asked why, she didn't say, but because they did a drug test I'm assuming she was dirty! They went back outside and talked more before she was arrested. While she was out there Ren called, I answered and told her Sam was getting arrested. She told me "Sam lies. She's lying to you!" I knew what was coming, I've heard it before... "She isn't pregnant! She's lying to you!" I stormed outside and told her Ren was on the phone and asked why she said she's lying about being pregnant! Her PO flipped out yelling at her that she had never heard anything about Sam being pregnant. She claimed she didn't want DCFS to get involved. Uggggg. Who knows right now. There are so many things that point to she is and a few things that point to lies. We honestly don't know what to think. We're preparing for the worst but also being ready for a baby.

What are we really going to do? Talk to her PO, see if there is ANY way she can do a pregnancy test to find out yes or no.

I told Brad if she's lying, not that I'm trying to replace "baby", but I feel ready to do foster care again. I feel that there is another child out there ready to be with us. Maybe we needed this fake pregnancy to get us to that point right now.

The sweetest moment today. I was organizing our DVD's which I was working on when she started texting me last night. Brad told Emma "Go give Mom loves!" Emma ran over and gave me a hug!

Our quote of today "Only time will tell!" We keep saying 1 month from now either there will be a baby or we will know 100% it was a lie. I think it will be a long month.


Duchess said...

Oh, what a nightmare! I am so sorry. While you're seeing this not so great doctor get her to prescribe you some valium too. Sounds like you might need it!

Larks Nest said...


The Smiths said...

Wow! Good luck! I agree some valium would come in handy :)

Sarah said...

As a fellow foster to open adoption mom I can relate to the emotional roller coaster of dealing with birth family drama. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to have Sam pregnant with your baby on the streets, on drugs and/or in jail or to have to deal with the heartbreak of losing the dream of a baby you were expecting to become part of your family so soon. Praying you lots of strength to get through the next four weeks! I have enjoyed reading your story and am anxious to hear updates!