Don't ask me why I feel inclined to blog about every time I see or talk to Samantha, but I do. All a part of our open adoption experience I guess.
"no contact" days make me nervous, "Is something wrong?" is what I always think. Yesterday there was no contact, no response to my texts. This afternoon (this was on Wednesday) Sam tells me she lost her phone on Tuesday and just found it. Which I thought might be going on. We made plans for her to come over at 7:30. At 7 she told me she didn't feel like coming over and her friend/roommate/ "little sister" also wanted to see Emma so could we go over there? We had no plans, so sure. Emma and I went over there and Em was shy at first, as usual. After about an hour Sam decided she'd rather go to our place. We got to our house and they said they were going to go get sodas and be back. Then she texted me they needed to get something else. Almost an hour later I asked if they were still coming. She said they were almost there (to my house). I still wasn't so sure if they'd show. But, they did!
I had a whole post written about my PCOS drama, but I accidentally deleted... oh my Heavens, not only has the PCOS bleeding been bad, but the hormones have me CRAZY! I kid you not, just ask my husband! I have completely flipped out on him twice today!
Thursday Sam was going to come over around 7. I didn't even notice that it was 7:15 and she texted me that she was still stuck with her friend. It also helps that I had just gotten my Silhouette, freaken awesome thing ever! Well I was going back and forth and I missed a call from Sam. I called her back and her friend said she was at my front door, I walk into the living room and Brad's letting her in. Today she told me, "I didn't want to just blow you off. I feel bad when I don't make it over!"
Emma is hit and miss with wanting Sam to hold her. She is so clingy on me, even Brad is lucky if Em wants him. But as Sam was leaving Emma wanted her. Sam texted me later that it made her night.
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I fear for you. This whole open adoption thing. With such instability and the havoc its creating in your life. I am wondering if its good for the kids and for your marriage.
As the kids grow up and se this ebhavior, would they pick it up and use it ?
Children are the sweetest living things on earth. However no idea why, but at a certain age they turn into the most manipulative, conniving creatures! I have read that its a kind of coping mecahnism.
My suggestion would be if they naturally become conniving or manipulative, let it be from good role models!
Does it make sense? I have been thinking of Brad, you, Emma and Payson during my prayer times.
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