Thursday, January 27, 2011

Naming Your Adoptive Child

I saw (this post) and it got me thinking... Not just naming a baby is hard, but an adoptive baby/ Foster Care is even harder. We knew from day one that we wanted to name "J", Emma. When we changed Emma's name we didn't want to hurt Sam by it. She has since told me she didn't love Jay's name, but the dad insisted on it. Plus, Sam's dad didn't like it, but he loves Emma Samantha! Recently I found out that her middle name was after birth father's mom who died right before she was born and I kind of felt bad we changed it. But at the same time, it's hard to name your child after someone who you've never met and you know nothing about.

With baby boy, I told Sam what name we were thinking and she said she really like it. I didn't want to name the baby something she hated it. Sam's mom, Kay, wants her to name the baby Logan. I like the name, but not one I'd name my kid. Wait, I take it back, I like it for a girl, but I'm sure my husband would oppose. Now his middle name... The name we are planning is after my husband's dad and I know he will not budge on it. After all Emma's middle name was supposed to be after his mom and we switched it. I like the name we picked out for baby. I have always liked the name James, but my husband not so much. He said maybe for a middle name. Well, guess what baby's birth father's middle name is? Yeah, James. So if it came down to it, I'd love to name him ..... James, but I know Brad is firm on ...... G....

We talked about it the other night at our foster care meeting about changing a foster child's name. It's hard once they reach a certain age. Do you change or not? I always feel like, if this is going to be my child I want to name him/her.

Ben's: I really liked his name. We talked about "Ben" (but ya know, his real name) James, but after we found out his middle name was after his dad, we decided to keep it. But then again, we didn't adopt him, that was just If it did go to adoption. And coincidentally, Sam's oldest son's name is Ben too, although on here I call him Ethan! And the craziest part, both our foster Ben and her Ben's birth fathers have the SAME name too! I like the name enough I that I wouldn't be opposed to naming one of our future son's "Ben", but I think it's too weird having had a foster son with that name and Emma and baby will already have a 1/2 brother with that name.

Madison: That is actually how I came up with her nickname for this blog because we were going to name her (if it went to adoption) Madison. We couldn't find a name we liked. We weren't huge fans of her name, plus it was unusual and in the same town her birth mom lives in, NO WAY! One day we were making waffles and we had a bottle of syrup that was made in Madison, Maine. I threw the name out there and Brad liked it to. Oh and FYI, she was around 2 years old, but we still felt young enough to change her name.

Isaac: He was almost 6 when we had him. We talked openly with him about the possibility of us adopting him. He was constantly tell me, "If you adopt us, you should name "Madison" this name..." It was usually Addison that he suggested actually. So we asked him, if we adopted him if he wanted his name changed. We didn't love it or hate it and were on the fence about changing it. He wanted it changed and usually told me he wanted it to be Isaac, who was a boy in his class. I was okay with it, it was his own choice, Brad wasn't in love with it.

1 comment:

Tamara ViAnn said...

Naming can be hard. With our first child I felt under tremendous pressure to choose a name that not only my husband and I loved, but that our birthmom liked also. Our birthmom suggested names we didn't really like. That was hard. I wanted to choose a middle name that honored our childs birthmom, and my husband didn't want to do that. We ultimately found a good middle name- our birthmom's middle name also happened to be a name my husband liked. But I'll be honest, with our second child, a bio child it was nice to not have to deal with that. Choosing his name was difficult in other ways though.