Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Phone Call

Lately I've been feeling left out/ not understood about the whole infertility thing. I love my husbands family, but no one else has seemed to struggle like I have. Last August (the last time I ever ovulated on my own) I was talked to a few of my SIL (sister-in-laws) about trying to get pregnant. One tells me, well you just go off birth control have sex every other day between day 10 and 20 and you get pregnant. (Note, she was expecting #3, all of which were conceived the first month TTC)

On my personal blog about a month ago I blogged about another SIL that announced she was pregnant. I have to admit, it was extremely hard to hear! Just 6 months earlier I asked if they were trying, and she said NO! At Christmas my Mother-in-Law told me husband that she (this same SIL) was having a hard time getting pregnant too. Again, I was annoyed, how dare she complain after only a few months!

When Brad and I started to pursue adopting through LDS FS I started a group on Facebook to help spread the word to family and friends. For me to feel supported I wanted at least my family to join and support us, but some of them would not join. If frustrated me and yes I know sometimes it seems like I am asking too much of people. So a few days ago I again invited some family members and add a note that if they loved us, they would join.

That bring me to today, I just got a phone call from pregnant SIL wanting to talk about infertility. It turns out that they too did struggle with getting pregnant. Just like me, she never ovulated. I finally asked how long it took them, over a year. I now feel bad that I was so upset that she was pregnant. I wish I had know all along about what she was going through. She asked if she was bothering me by asking so many question, No I absolutely LOVE talking about it! We talked about all the things Brad and I did to try and our miscarriage last year. She told me what it took her to get pregnant.

She asked what they could do to help us, for me at least, it helps to talk about it. When everyone else is talking about being pregnant, I just want to sit in the corner and cry. For me people talking to me about infertility shows me that they care about what is going on in my life. If anyone reading this is a family member of someone struggling with infertility, then show that you care by talking to them about it. Ask how things are going, ask what you can do to help me. It is SOOOO emotionally draining and it's nice to know that someone cares enough to listen.

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